Dating As A Trans Woman And Want Success? Follow Our 8 First Date Tips

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Navigating the dating scene can’t be the easiest thing when you’re an ‘acquired taste’ - trying to find a date in a niche market of the modern dating scheme. People are always curious to know about being transgender and what sex and dating are like. Well, if you are a transgender woman, you will be dating other transgender men or transgender women. She might be wondering if she should go to the normal dating sites to find someone or if there are special transgender sites. How does a transgender woman improve her chances for success on the dating scene? And if you are a straight transgender woman, are there men who will find you attractive as a trans woman? And are they gay men? There is so much to wonder about, so we have some great tips for successful dating -

1. There are a few ways to go about dating

It’s all a matter of personal taste. Some transgenders go on to a standard dating sites like Butterfly, TsDates, Mytransgenderdate and Tinder and there they will disclose the fact that they are transgender. Then there’s another option where you use the ‘trans’ filter on other apps. This is usually used by gay men on Grindr. The benefit of this is that you have the benefit of ensuring that the men you speak to are looking for a trans-woman specifically.

2. Trans women are at the same risk of HIV and STIs as any other sexually active person

Transgender women should be using condoms/or getting men to use condoms for every sexual encounter and getting tested if they’re sexually active [1].

3. Try and meet for the first time somewhere in public

Sadly, violence against trans women often comes from sexual or romantic partners. Not only that, rejection is highly possible too, and you want to be in a public space should that happen. You can be rejected by many partners who might not be willing to accept you as you are. Remember to be yourself, always. Dating and being trans are going to be hard jobs to accomplish and you don’t need to try and be somebody else to achieve success.

4. You might find the older generation difficult to date

This is because they are more set in their ways. They might have heard from plenty of people that if you date a transgender woman, it is possible that you yourself are a homosexual person [2] to date a transgender woman. The older crowd did not grow up with these types of things as the modern crowd is doing, and they don’t want their friends to judge them and consider them to be homosexual.

5. Some transgender people will only find acceptance after they have fully transitioned

After being fully transitioned, some women will decide not to tell their dates and see how they get along. Some will attract and date many men without the men finding out they are transgender. When they are asked about their childhood, they will make up stories so that their partner never finds out they had transitioned. Some have fallen in love with their male partners and wanted to spend the rest of their time with them, only to find that on deciding to tell them the truth, there is a complete shift – away from them. There are a lot of trans people who do live stealth [3]. This is because they also don’t want to be fired from their workplace or even harassed. Did you know that the unemployment rate in the trans community is higher than the general population?

6. Use video chatting and chatting before meeting the person

When you do finally meet, always meet in a well-lit, public place. If you feel ‘unsafe’, you can bring a trusted person to a first date. And if you don’t like the idea of doing that, at least let a friend know of your location and make provision for a “safe call”. A safe call is when you have arranged for a friend to call you to check on you just in case. It’s important for it to be a call and not a text. This will enable your friend to hear the tone of your voice.

7. Always be perfectly clear about boundaries and expectations upfront

Trans-women, to affirm their identity and seek acceptance and validation from people around them, might be at risk when they seek validation from men who want to manipulate their vulnerabilities for their own gratification. Sometimes, a transgender woman’s experience of rejection and discrimination, and her eagerness to be accepted, can often influence her to overlook certain behaviors or attitudes in her partners that are incompatible with what she believes. Learn to discern.

8. Healthy relationships

The relationship you have with yourself is a top priority. If you are confident in whom you are or who you are becoming, you will be comfortable with yourself and take care of yourself. Self-acceptance of yourself gives you the strength to develop the kinds of relationships you deserve to have with other people. That also means ensuring you have good support outside of your relationships in the form of understanding friends and family. Don’t let your partner become your whole life that you make it difficult to leave the relationship when you might need to.


We hope these 8 tips have been eye-opening to you, and beneficial! It is important to give yourself the permission to let your sexuality and belief in yourself guide your pleasures, without any shame and guilt that can often become intertwined in our sex lives. Sex and intimacy are natural, spiritual, and healthy parts of who we are; it makes us who we are. As you engage in consensual sex that makes you feel good; that celebrates and affirms who you are, we hope our 8 tips will free you from any sexual negativity around what you believe in, and what you want for yourself. We hope you experience all the sexual pleasures of dating that include intimacy, joy, love, and fulfillment.