8 Tips For Transgender Women Dating Cisgenders

People who are assigned as ‘female’ at birth identify as girls or women. People who are assigned as ‘male’ at birth identify as boys or men. These people are cisgender (or cis). A transgender person is someone who was assigned male or female at birth, but later on in life, they realized that they had more features of the other sex, and maybe even the feelings or yearnings to be of the other sex. Some of these people want to transition to being their preferred sex, and they do that.

Transgender people are discriminated against on a daily basis, there’s no doubt about that. So it should come as no surprise that they can often get overlooked when it comes to dating. For instance, one research company, whose results were published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships [1] asked 100 cisgender people (cisgender are people who are assigned their sex at birth and identify as that into adults. A girl will get assigned as female at birth and a boy will get assigned as a male at birth) [2]. Of the 958 participants who took part in the survey, only 12% of them said that they would date a transwoman or a transman.

Romantic relationships and intimacy are really important as social support for adults

The high rate of trans people being excluded from dating pools are due to a lack of knowledge about transgender people and their bodies, feelings of discomfort with these unknown factors, and, of course, fear of being discriminated against.

Today, still, it is rare to see trans women being publicly desired and loved. The lack of visibility makes people conclude that the transgender woman or man is not appealing. This can have devastating effects on their self-esteem, particularly early on in their transition. Cisgender men also suffer from the stigmatism of dating transwomen. They realize, too, that they will suffer from discrimination themselves if they date transgender women because many people think they are actually closet gay cases.

Here are several dating tips for transgender women to help you navigate the difficulties of dating and ensure you are prepared for a romance that can be yours!

1. A transgender woman might catch a cishet man, but he might refuse to go out in public with her

Some of these guys will keep their transgender girlfriends a secret because they are scared their friends and family will mock and scorn them. But then these same men continue to stay with the transgender woman and even have sex with her. A transgender woman, if she wants a cishet man, needs to find one who loves her beyond the privacy of the bedroom.

2. Transgenders and cisgender people who are dating need to work as a team

If you go out as a transwoman and cisgender guy, you are going to be met with challenges. But you can be happy together and make the relationship worthwhile. When other people and their perceptions cause problems or challenges to your relationship, you have to learn to deal with them as a team.

3. Transgender women should use dating services

Transgender women have a hard time finding dates. This can be for a variety of reasons. Personal doubts, the unwillingness to ‘put themselves out’ to others, and the chance to find a receptive partner are some of the most common reasons.

Online dating sites have some benefits for trans-women seeking cisgender partners. The sites offer them the opportunity to swiftly find interested partners. These online dating sites allow people to put themselves out there in a community where people know what they want and what to expect.

On dating sites, it becomes easy to identify potential dates. You will soon see if they are a good match. Furthermore, this method of dating is far safer than going out to meet people in person, or at least it’s safe until you do eventually know it’s safe to meet someone in person.

4. When finding a date, remember that you will need to reveal who you are eventually

That means having a talk where you will open up about yourself as a person and your body’s physical elements. You will be able to determine when you will do this and how and what you will say, and how much info you will want to give your partner. You might want to be open and frank about whom you are and your situation early in the relationship. Maybe you prefer to wait for the relationship to develop a bit because not all relationships get to the physical part.

5. Establish what your comfort boundaries will be

A good idea when starting a relationship with a cisgender person is to determine what your boundaries will be and then set them early on. You have a right to discuss with your partner what you like and what you don’t like all dating couples do. Some trans-women are happy to talk about their past and their journey, and other people want to keep their past more private and only look forward. That will be up to each person. Set your boundaries early in the relationship with your partner so you both know exactly where you stand with each other.

6. Find support and friends

A good dating tip for you to follow is to find a support group. You should have people available to talk to you about what it’s like to date as a trans-woman, particularly other trans-woman. You can rely on their experience to learn more about how to stay safe, how to navigate relationships, and also have fun. Look out for people who share your lifestyle, experiences, and values to find even more success in your dating experiences.

7. Remember some men will have a perverse interest in you

Of course, transgender women are no different than women who are not transgender. There are men who have a perverse interest in hooking up with any person of any sexual persuasion for perverse sex and interest. They want to try out these women, and even men, as if they are exotic experiments; always on the prowl. Transgender women and all people, in general, need to be aware that there are sexual predators out there willing to prey on anyone [3].

Conclusion

In a difficult and different 2022 dating landscape, it’s even harder for trans-women to find relationships with men who are cisgender and heterosexual; who are willing to date them and not be scorned themselves because they are thereafter considered ‘gay men.’ This difficult situation leaves trans-women often feeling robbed of finding fulfilling and loving relationships, wondering if they will ever be found worthy of being loved in the public eye.

Nobody can doubt the fact that transgender women do have a difficult time ahead of them when it comes to dating. Finding partners who are genuinely interested in them, feeling safe, and finding true love and intimacy with someone can be very challenging as a trans-woman. Fortunately, there are methods and tips that we have given that can improve your dating outcomes. Using these tips you can approach dating more confidently and find the success and love that you deserve and want.

References

[1] https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0265407518779139?journalCode=spra
[2] https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/what-does-cisgender-mean
[3] https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/signs-sexual-predator